Sir, you’ve been an activist who is promoting the rights of the LGBTIQ community. Most of us know that LGBT stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender but, a lot of us don’t know what “IQ” in LGBTIQ stands for. Can you please throw some light on the term?
LGBT people with higher IQ (laughs)
As you rightly said, people are generally aware that LGBT stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender.
The “I” stands for Intersex which means that they are born in variations in sex characteristics and hence, they don’t fit in the typical definitions for male or female. The “Q” stands for Queer or Questioning which means that I am different, and I don’t want to put myself in any category and I’m still exploring my sexuality.
Therefore LGBTIQ stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersex Questioning.
You’ve been honored with a great number of awards, particularly in issues that dealt with awareness relating to child sexual abuse. What inspired you to work for their cause?
I think my own struggle. I was raped when I was 7 years old, I was gang-raped when I was 12 years old. I was raped until the age of 18. When you go through your struggle, you tend to become the voice and champion for that cause. We all learn from our struggles.
I spoke on Shatrughan Sinha’s show with my face hidden and then Smriti Irani’s show called ‘Kuch… Diiil Se’ where I opened up for the first time. That’s where my journey started. Later, I started writing about my story.
Mumbai Mirror, a newspaper in the city of Mumbai, carried a story about me as well which became the focal point of my crusade against child sexual abuse. There was also a film made on me called “I Am” which went on to win a national award.
You’ve been advocating for women’s rights as well. What is your perception of Feminism?
I think Feminism is a broader and inclusive term. It stands for equality of all genders. It doesn’t say “Aurat toh devi hoti hai”. Don’t make women a goddess, treat her like a human first.
That’s why, I think that’s the best respect that you can give to women. If you put women on a pedestal, she will never be equal to you. We don’t need devotees, we need equality instead. Equality translates to ‘Barabari’ in Hindi and that’s the name of the NGO that I’ve founded.
It’s called Barabari because it is about equality. A woman is everything. She is not just a nurturer of life. Celebrate her in all her forms.
The term sexual abuse has always been associated with women. A lot of us know that men go through it as well, but it is difficult for the society to accept that sexual abuse can happen to men also. Have you ever come across stories that men have shared with you about their sexual abuses?
I’ve mostly had men come and share their stories with me. The percentage of men getting sexually abused is more than women. Of course, it’s not a competition but what I mean to say is that men also get sexually abused. According to the statistics of 2017 by the Ministry of Women and Child Welfare, 54% of boys get sexually abused.
Boys become the victim of patriarchy because they can’t go and say it to anyone and hence their cases don’t come to light. This is because people will tell the boy that you’re a man, you should’ve slapped the abuser.
We also have this perception that Men are supposed to be protectors, what are your thoughts on that?
Yes, but they don’t have to be protectors. As a matter of fact, I have a sister who is hearing impaired, and sometimes, I take her along with me when I go out and she gives me strength and moral support.
She is not only a woman, she is a disabled woman, but she is the one who gives me more support than what I would give her. So, what I mean is that we should all support and protect each other irrespective of our genders.
In a society like ours, homosexuality is still considered taboo and it is generally related to abnormality. Why is it so?
Whenever people don’t know about a thing, they will dread that thing. The reason why people attack homosexuals at times is because they don’t know enough about them. Many directors in the film fraternity are trying to spread awareness by making films about homosexuality and I think that the revolution has started. I think its multifaceted.
We can’t say that teach the children in schools and it’ll be okay later. We can’t expect just schools to spread awareness or the laws to become more supportive or stringent. Everyone has to work together to bring change. Its not a relay game. Everyone is supposed to work in harmony.
I think things are changing and I refuse to believe that India is homophobic. Homophobia has been seen in western countries as well. However, that doesn’t mean India doesn’t have problems.
Societal prejudice will always exist. The majority will always think against the minority, but I pity the majority because they’re struggling to accept the reality. I always start my talks by saying, “I accept you, you are different because you get married, you make children. I can never make children, but I will adopt the children that you abandon. You are different from me.”
You are also called ‘Aham Iyer”. What is the story behind this name?
When I was in the closet, I thought about who I was. I was trying to figure out my sexuality and at that time I felt that it was extremely important for me to give myself a name because I wanted to interact with people outside, but I also wanted to stay anonymous.
I always believed that ego is not a bad thing all the time, ego is a bad thing when it becomes bad for other people. So, Aham means Ahamkaar. I had a lot of ego about accepting who I was and so I called myself Aham. The day I accepted myself for who I am, I left that name far behind. Now I’m no longer Aham, I am Harish Iyer. (smiles)
- Also find Justice A.y. Kogje’s view of Transgender people’s rights “here“
